a cute picture....:)
Every morning is gruesome now. I fell less and less excited by the day to go to the office. It now feels more and more like a burden! God, please take off my burden and let me feel free again…
It seems like I can write whenever I feel overly joyful or in a super downfall. It is kind of a distraction for me to balance myself not to go too far joyous or depressed. SWell, let’s see if I can pull myself off and write.
[PHOTO BELONGS TO THE RIGHTFUL OWNER. I ONLY REUPLOAD IT]
How much days do you usually or suppossed to work in a day/week? Well, according to Indonesian Law of Labor no 78.3 stated that a company should PAY OVERTIME for their workers if they perform more than:
a) 7 hours/day, 40 hours/week, in 6 days work;
b) 8 hours/day, 40 hours/week, in 6 days work.
What happens is, I was told to have a normal 8 hours a day work initially, but in the progress, they keep me to stay until 5 with no overtime. Management only said, it was a misunderstanding, but there will be no overtime. If I asked for a change, management will have to hold a meeting for this. Tsck.
Now that I have 9 hours a day for 5 days, which in total is 45 hours, they put me to sit in my desk on SATURDAYS from 8am to 2 pm, with no additional charge, alias NO OVERTIME. So, how much do I have to work a week? Yup, a total of 51 hours, still NO OVERTIME.
I know it is hard to get a job lately, but I think I know when I am being bullied. And I haven’t even mentiona the salary yet. You won’t buy it. Come to think of it, even with overtime payment, it won’t change much of the total amount already.
Well maybe I sound exagerating. How about this: I haven’t worked for complete 2 weeks (yes, I’m on probation now), and my boss already YELLED at me for he was asked by his boss, that she heard I wasn’t familiar with clients. HELLO??? YOU YEELED AT ME FOR THAT??
YOU SOUNDED IF I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING. WELL GUESS WHAT BOSS. I DID! AND AS MANY MISTAKES I MADE IN THAT DESK, I DID TRY. Meaning, YES I DO WORK BOSS! I CAN’T HANDLE EVERYTHING AT A TIME, I’M SORRY BOSS. IF YOU DISAPROVE OF MY PERFORMANCE IN THE OFFICE, WELL, I HAVE THINGS TO SAY TOO, BOSS. YOU KNEW I WASN’T BUILT FOR THIS KIND OF THING. HAVE PATIENT WITH ME BOSS. I MAY BE SLOW LEARNER BUT I AM NOT DUMB.
Sorry I yeeled back at you, Boss. But this is only virtual. Unlike what you did to me.
[I Don't own the photo. Credits to the owner of the photo]
Super Junior's new gig
To tell the truth, I’ve been a fan of Super Junior only recently after they came to Indonesia (May 2011) in KIMCHI concert with other Korean idol fellows. I was curios what was so special about them, other than they were all male and good in dancing. Little that I know, I was soon mesmerized by their personalities, talents, and their good works!
So I’m not going to tell you about what Super Junior is, their new album, discographies, activities, or fun facts about them. I will share my opinions and what I think about them.
ATTITUDE
Most of Super Junior members have shown respectful and polite manners toward each other and, especially, fans. They are very strict in terms of remembering each member in age structural, where the younger must respect the older, and that the older (‘hyung) have the responsibility to protect and taking care of their ‘dongsaeng’ (younger brother). However, some younger members tend not to obey their hyungs. Kyuhyun is notably known for his “hobby” to tease his hyungs, therefore he is nicknamed (among others) Evil Magnae (youngest brother). Still, his rebellious act doesn’t go too far, and in the end, the hyung who got teased can only laugh off or just being so understood.
Incidents did arise concerning few of its members. Kang In is now in a military service after having series of incidents and scandal. Before his admission, he wrote a message to his fellow members in Super Junior, management, and fan, showing his regrets and sincere apology. Kim Hee Chul was having a hard time to decide whether to persue his acting career, or to stay in Super Junior. This was harder after Ki Bum and Han Kyung, his two best mates, already left the group for different reasons. Recently he confessed that because of the sincereity of the member to welcome him back, it moved him to decide to stay in Super Junior and now call it his “eternal home”.
To live together in a dorm with so many member in such a long time is not an easy task. With different personalities, expectations, and uncertainty on what they would be (pre debut), they must be struggle with their ego. I don’t know whether the reason of Hee Chul and han Kyung moved to different dorm previously was simply because the lack of rooms. I mean, they could easily divided the group into two. Well, maybe they had reasons for themselves.
PERSONALITY
Surely they have unique personalities. What bound them together is the strong culture which emphasize on respecting each other. To respect others, sometimes mean that you have to hold back what you feel so that you don’t hurt other’s feelings. This might be the reason why korean celebrity has the highest percentage for suicide .
I would like to know them better, but as I knew them only recently, I dig the one that I take interest the most. That is Kim Hee Chul, the second oldest member, the one with 4D personality, the one with the most beautiful face that resemblance lady Gaga when he put on his wig and dance like her. In the future, I may write about the rest of them, but as for the moment, I can only write my opinion about Kim Hee Chul. Apologize to those who knew him better, this might not even close as he actually is.
KIM HEE CHUL
Kim Hee CHul
Kim Hee Chul has a blatant fowardness, yet he is shy when being confronted with his sentimentil side. He is smart and has a sharp tongue to go woth it. He admitted himself that since he has good looks and brain, he has a bad temperament to balanec it. Other saying, God is fair.
When I sas his videos, I feel like he’s been being misunderstood. I feel like he is holding something back that makes him not frelly express his feelings. Looking at his childhood, it may be that he was lacking of attention when he was younger. He was also felt lonely, and the one whom he thought he could share his childhood was, her sister, not around. He moved to many places following his parents, therefore he could not make good or deep relationship with many people.
Basic on this, I have the conclusion that he feels lonely inside. But since he is smart enough not to make people know his true feeling, he acted as if he was happy. And that is also one way to cure his lonely heart, by driving many attention to him. No, I’m not saying he is attention seeker, I just think that he is lonely.
There is a benefit that he is stuck to Super Junior for many years now. Although there were many problems, but this situation forced him to adapt and to address his sentimental feelings better. The fact that he also loves cats show the softness side. Sometimes it surprised him too of how melancholy this side of him, but as time passes by, he gradually accepted the fact that he can be, say, romantic, sentimentil, melancholy.
I love Kim Hee Chul for all his expression, his laughter, his idea to make people laugh, and still manage to be fully charmingly handsome most of the times. I just feel that behind the smile, there is someone who wants to be needed. Not to be pity, but to understand him.
Anyways, Kim hee Chul, fifhting! Luv you luv youuu!
(Note: All pictures belong to its true owner. I only reupload them)
Posted in Uncategorized
After a long time having no special time to indulge myself in communal things with many people, and share the same feelings to one object with many people, I finally got the chance by watching exclusively National Basketball League 2011 series in DBL Arena, Surabaya.
Yes, thanks to mbak Adelina Sarah and her crew to allow me snuggle in as their crew member during semifinals to final. Not only I get the chance to watch the game closely, I also get the pass to interview the basketball players, to follow them during practice, in between session, and to their locker room door. Yup, only to the door :p
I must admit that I don’t really familiar with basketball, other than I knew that they consist of 5 VERY TALL people, fighting to get one ball and tug it to the basket they are assigned to aim. I didn’t know that it consists of 4 quarter times, and after 2 quarters you get to see the changing goal position. I didn’t know that each quarter consists of 10 minutes, I thought it could have been more because there were so many stops and gos and changing of players.
The first time I get there, mbak Adel took me a bit of touring, passing players who were stretching around their locker room before performing in front of their supporters. Owwh… they are so tall! But look! Some of them are not really tall, namely Kelly Purwanto and Ary Chandra. Them both are Pelita Jaya Esia team. That day was the semifinal between Pelita Jaya and CLS Knights Nuvo.
As I enter the stadium, the supporters were not so crowded. But as time went by, it get packed and full. By the end of the game, I was wet and hot!!
Well, it was not purely because of the arena. Of course it was lack of air circulation and humid, but the game was also full of heat. CLS Knights, the local team, was fighting with high spirit against the team which has already known full with celebrity players from Jakarta. CLS was playing very good, their shoots were almost always hit in to the baskel. Whilst Pelita Jaya, they looked as if they just have been traveling so far. They looked jet leg (if any, for they have been here since Monday, March 7).
I found that CLS Knights were fighting to their bones and their defense was very strong. (And I commited myself as a die hard CLS Knight fan right there and then 
). But PJ was not bad either. I was tormented between screaming for Wijaya (CLS) and Kelly (PJ) and eventually, as PJ was far behind, I screamed for Kelly instead, but happy for the result that CLS won and continue to final with 68-53.
After my first encounter with basketbal and my undying support to CLS (well, as per now, it is still unchanged yet ), the next battle between Aspac Dell and Satria Muda Britama was not as hot as I expected. Or, maybe because I was trying to keep my memory of the glory CLS the other day, so I didn’t really much into the game the next day. The game won by Satria Muda with 60-56 points.
As the final day approach, I was anxious to see them again in the arena. I had the names of each team’s players, and with the help of Adel, got the hints who are the hotties among the fans
In the 3rd place battle, the game was so, very hot!!! There I found that Ary Chandra of PJ was excellent. Alhthough his shoots were mainly missed, but he looked so relaxed and unintimidated. PJ was left behind by almost half scores from Dell Aspac, but at the end of the third quarter they got really motivated and ended the game with 62-61! I was screaming and yelling almost the whole game to support Ary and Kelly 
The final introduction was spectacular. I guess we’ve never had a kind of this in national league. So, two tumbs up for DBL as the prosecutor!
The final between Satria Muda Britama vs CLS Knights was filled with high tension in the supporter seats. As this is the first time ever CLS went on to final, it was highly anticipated by many Surabaya citizens. The players were motivated as well, and they scored ahead 11 points ahead SM Britama.
But, as SM Britama get closed their points, CLS got nervous. I guess the pressure were too high on them, and with young players playing in the big league, their nerves got in their ways. On the other hand, SM Britma was solid and familiar with high tension, and as if it was an wasy case for them to stand brave and put their champion mentality. As expected from the second quarter, SM Britama sealed the deal and closed the game with 51-36 points.
And so, Satria Muda Britama won the game, and became the Champion of NBL 2011 Series. Congratulations!
I’m SO can’t wait for the next season!
Posted in sport | Tags: basketball, NBL series
It’s been a while I wanted to write this, as I wanted to commemorate my departure date to Germany back then 13 years a go. But things were not running as planned, and I finally got the time, the courage, and more reason to write this now, despite of it’s lateness.
If I hadn’t noticed the notification board in my school, or even one day late to see it, I would have never been a part of this wonderful family I am in. Thank God I was on my way to (actually) skipped my class that day, and just on the way to the cafetaria when I saw the notification of American Field Service exchange student. I’ve heard a lot about AFS from my sister, whose friend was an AFS student to New Zealand.
Accompanied by a friend, we went to Jemursari to buy the application form. I passed all the tests, and to my surprise, I finally received a letter from National’s Bina Antarbudaya, saying that I was chosen as an exchange student to Germany. And with much, much, more disbelieve on my side, I actually, really ,really, was sent (or thrown out?) to Germany on August 31, 1997.
It was a mixed experience, but to tell you the truth, it was a really tough experience. Especially the first three months, when I had to adjust myself with the language, culture, the host family, etc. I couldn’t really express how I felt since no one understood my English, my poor Deutsch (I was only able to say initial conversation and eins, zwei, drei, usw.) and no one seemed to take notice when I started to talk in English. We didn’t have blackberry, SMS, and internet was limited. If I had to write to family and friends, their reply would arrive about a month (or even more) later, and by that time, I’ve forgotten the problems, have dealt with it, or simply there were other bigger issues to deal with, that it was no longer relevant to talk about my problem.
I had a host parents, 3 host sisters, 2 cats, and a dog. The closest to me was the dog, the cats, and the mother. My younger sisters were twin (and they didn’t look alike), who one of them seemed to have a problem with me. I tried to found out why, I tried to talk to her, but she was simply just avoiding me. Later I found out that she was jealous because the mother spent more time with me than the normal they usually had together. But the damage was done, she couldn’t speak English, my Deutsch was far from good, and by the time I managed to learn the language, she had already put a distance between us.
I tried to contact my Contact Person about this (whom else can you reach at times like this?), but he was in a village far from mine, and was too busy preparing his Abitur (final high school grade or class XIII). The only thing I could do was to endure the feeling and be grateful of what I had. It was more because there were no other choices rather than I was trying to sound like a saint.
I had my moments, yes, when I gradually succeeded in my Art Classes, having German friends and more, got lost here and there, now and then, spent some holidays and weekends in Dortmund, all the way up north to near Denmark and sneaking up to Berlin, parties, watching concerts, and many more. But the one stained in my heart was the difficulties I had to face almost every day at home.
Still, I was pretty sad to have to come back to Indonesia. I have established new habits, accustomized to local culture, and my tongue refused to talk to other than Deutsch. I suddenly had allergy to dust (I sneezed all the time and my eyes produced too much water that people thought I was crying), I was brave enough to questioning my teacher at school, and many more I am sure returnees are familiar with. The re-adjustment is a process some of us are still struggling with even far after the arrival.
After I returned back to my hometown, I had no plan in involving myself too much to the organization. I had the benefit already, and I was planning to come and go to AFS Chapter Surabaya by invitation only. I didn’t put too much interest on it, since I was much younger than other seniors (the closest batch was returnee two years previously), and there were no following batch after mine due to Indonesian recession at that time. Talking to seniors were like talking to Gods, and I was like a minion to compare with them (gosh, I was such a coward! Lol)
But this situation didn’t last long. As the chapter seemed to lose many of its members at that time, somehow I felt obliged to come and live up all AFS’s event. And it came to a point where I offered them to have my place to conduct a meeting (or something, I forgot). I guess this is where it all started. Once I gave them the key to my house, more and more meetings and events were held at my house.
Soon after that, I was involved with AFS Chapter Surabaya. Maybe because my schedule was not too tight. Or maybe simply because it was calling me to take care of it, when everyone else was not available at that time. The seniors whom I presumed to be Gods, now becoming friends. (It’s either I’ve finally learnt the arts to talk to Gods more intensely or they came down to earth to address me :p ) Either ways, there were not enough people to take care of the organization on daily basis. And it would be a great loss if there were no longer AFS in the city and no selections to be held.
And so it was, in 2002, we made a revolutionary action both in the selection and the organization. We re-activated all the returnees and volunteers to help us do the campaign for AFS selection, and that year come to a huge number of AFS participants, the highest to that point. Ardian Martanto, as the chairperson, was such an inspiration with all his visions and dedication, and his spirit boosted our confidence that WE CAN. Indeed, we did it.
It was a successful year, and the following year also, that it was a big blow on the third year when Ardian came with the news that he had to leave for Jakarta permanently for work. He left me a legacy to continue running chapter with the foundation that we (he) built. The whole team did a great job in managing the selection that year (reached the highest peak, up to or a little bit over 800 participants). Had it not been fully supported by Patricia Kelly and Wiemax Pribadi who were almost always stood by my side to provide answers, assistance, and ASSURANCE, I would have never gone far in coordinating the chapter to run on its usual pace. Everyone was still new in the experience, but the dedication and commitment were militant.
My house and (used to be) my car were silent proves of how AFS chapter Surabaya was running. A poster is still attached to my garage’s door, and somehow my family had no intention to put it down. My AFS friends knew my family well and the house assistants who were always changing in some period of time. Everyday people were coming from all over the city in East Java, Bali, and Nusa Tenggara Barat, even in some nights the committee had to stay the night at my house to guard the base camp as the application forms of late applicants from out of town came by travel or expedition in the middle of the night.
The activities were not all about the selection. But the bond created because of the long and tight schedule of selection. I remember how Lokesjwari, Pramita Andini, and I went to Gresik for family interview until early at 2AM, in the fasting month. How Kelly and I went back and forth to Madiun by bus, just the 2 of us. No budget at that time! Caroline Tanjaya had her toe ran over by angkot when campaigning in schools. Wiemax had a serious burnt injury but still, awesomely, finished the ever-confusing-yet-too-much-to-handle tabulation. Widyoseno Estitoyo jumped off from his motorbike before it ran down itself to a river because he was soooo tired and sleepy 2 nights in a row of not sleeping. And many other bloopers, surprises, incidents, and accidents on the way. But that was all worthed.
It was not always happy, there were ups and downs as we walked together. There were fights and tears, as much as laughs and cries. When someone asked me why am I so attached to AFS, I can not fully answer that. It’s like because I grew up with it. AFS gave me more than just a one year experience abroad. It gave much more than and after that. It shaped me the way I am now. I poured my heart and soul in it, incidentally at the beginning, and now I feel like coming home every time I joined its many activities. I wouldn’t expect anyone to understand, because it is personal.
I am no longer the caretaker, now the new generation is taking over the lead. I can only wish that more and more people can benefit from this program, both from the exchange program and/or the voluntary system. Looking back to the old photos of me back in Germany, and the recent ones, I know I’ve changed a lot, and small or little, my experience in AFS has something to do with it. And to see the smile of the participants during photo session, the enthusiasm to know what will happen next in the candidate’s faces, are some of the little payback of the hardwork we’ve put in the chapter.
And I wish the bond will last forever; we may not be the best of friends, but we surely shared the similar background and experience. And those are as priceless as best mates could ever have.
Terjemahan bahasa Indonesia tidak tersedia, mohon maaf yang sebesar-besarnya
Posted in Uncategorized
This is the folder from my friendster page. It was taken by my newly Canon 400D at that time
Oh, except the first picture by the river, it was taken by Eri Gusmadi, using his camera.
Posted in diary, self, travel, Uncategorized | Tags: diary
A young, smart looking-yet-to-be-a-med-doctor said to me today, “If I were 30, I would be your boy friend.”
Isn’t it so sweet?………:”)
We were sitting on a bench, talking while he was massaging–or more likely to rubbing– my hands. I did that to him too, couple days before, for I was just had nothing to do at that time. I saw him earlier that day massaging my friend’s back, and I asked him to massage mine too. But i couldn’t stand the feel of ticklish on my back. So I dropped it.
And then we meet again, while listening to a presentation. As we were just sitting quietly, I asked him to rub my hands. But as he proved that he couldn’t do the way I wanted to, even with lotion and everything, so I rubbed his instead.
I think the scene was somehow got deep in to his mind more than it should. For when we met today, he pointed happily to a new lotion I had just bought lying between us, and said, like, would you like me to rub your hands, now?
So there we were, siting on a bench, talking about everything and nothing. Nothing was leading to a serious conversation until he asked, “So, do you have a boyfriend?” And I said no. Why? You want to be my…? And there he gave his answers.
As the conversation got deeper, I couldn’t help to find him blushing in between his answers. At some point we were just close enough to reveal how this relation would be next. But we then chose other topic to distract.
When we were about to go home, he was actually asking me to go out for lunch before heading home. But I had another appointment so I had to refuse. I would have loved to, for the sake of knowing him better (he really gave me smart answers to most of my questions). And even after we said goodbyes, he was just there, waiting for me to leave first before him. 
)
I am not a cougar, I am still interested to have a relationship with men round my age. I just love the fact that a young man might have a crush on me!
What was on your mind when you were kid? Did you know that you are going to be who you are now?
I remember when I was 14, I sang this song out loud during school pause, “Sepuluh tahun yang telah lalu, aku masih anak-anak…. Sepuluh tahun yang akan datang, aku jadi….?” (Ten years ago I was a child… Ten years ahead I will be…?) It was an old Indonesian keroncong that my mum used to sing in the bathroom, but I didn’t really catch the full lyrics.
I take my 14 years old life was the best time of my life. If I could, I would go back there again. I was young, full of spirit, a bit naive, but knew that life was spread ahead and the possibilities were like in every corners. Life was easy, but that, in my opinion, was the ground of my future.
Ten years before that, true, I was a child, a four year old child. I remember, vaguely, I longed to be at school, and going there with my sisters and neighbor. Because I felt lonely, being left at home, while others were having times together at school. What I knew at that time was time flew only by playing and playing. No time to think about tomorrow, home works, because simply there were none to think about.
And ten year afterward,at age 24, I was struggling with college. Not a memorable year, but the advantage was; I was younger .
In a few year, I will have my 34 years of life. So far, life has grown unexpectedly. I thought I would be an architect with nice suit, a glasses, and busy performance everyday (I dreamt of it :p). And life brought me to taste a glimpse of art through photography, once busy with corporate-style look, and all beyond my imagination.
I am expecting I’d be (more) happy by the time I reach 34, a simple yet complicated as happy has always been different for each of us.
And why the hell am I thinking of getting 34??? I am so far before that age!!
Posted in contemplation, self
And so, the long anticipated big ‘Three-O’ has arrived. I am officially joining the ’30s’ club as per today.
As friends and families wish me happy birthday, I can not help but to remind myself that I am that old. I am entering a new decade of my life! What will happen? Will I be alright? Will I be better, wiser, as age rises up? What lessons have I learned to equipped myself to survive in my next journey?
Looking back, when I was entering my 2os, it was very exciting. Everything was new to me, and everything lead to a new exciting place. I felt like I could be anything, anywhere, and in any time I wanted to. I was in no rush. The possibilities were endless. The world was, somehow, within reach.
As the year passes, I found that not everything could be achieved. Only things that I need or I focus on that could be reached. The world still offers many, but I have to take only a very selected few. Time has became one important element to consider. I have to make sure that the path I chose would highlight, or at least mark my path in life.
To be where I am today, I have gained many, lost much more, and changed a lot. I have cried for tears, for joy, for sorrows. I may have to do it all over again in my 30s, 40s, 50s, and so on. But will I have the power?
The more I thought about this, the more I realize, that there is nothing really I could do. I can’t avoid it. Like it or not, I will have to through it, and there is no other option. I only have to believe that life won’t grant me anything I can not endure. So I will survive. Whatever “survive” means.
And I choose to believe, that whatever decision I made, right or wrong, have already been written in heaven. I just need to follow it with the strongest good will. The result is out of my power to judge.
I am afraid, but life has also thought me to deal with it. Frighten is because I don’t dare to face. So, here I am, 30! I am coming!
Bismillah….
looking out of the window
I was in Jogjakarta when my sister texted me she was about to deliver her baby. I wouldn’t want to miss my niece’s coming to the world.
It was on Sunday evening, so I rushed back to Surabaya, early in the day after. when I arrived in Surabaya, my sister was already at the hospital, leaving a message that the baby would be delivered in the morning. Her husband would stay the night at the hospital to accompany her.
As planned, we went to the hospital early Tuesday morning. Ilham, the baby’s brother, was not going to school that day to welcome the new born sister. We were all very excited!
But at half journey, my mom received a call, telling that my sister had already delivered the baby about ten minutes earlier. She was in recovery, but the baby and the mother are both in good condition. Too bad we didn’t make it to wait the process on the spot, but the good news washed away all the dissapointment.
And there she was, cute as ever, baby Fatima Amira Aya Farhina. She was super cute, weight only 2.7 kg and 47 cm. Welcome, baby Fatima!
newly born
